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Annoyingly, he was lovely and we got along which was a bit of pain I wanted to hate him,” she laughs. He seemed to have a boyfriend within moments. “Within a couple of months he was hitting the gay bars. The experience was life changing for Ms Davidson’s ex as well. “The wonderful thing about gay men is they talk to me like I’m a person because they don’t want to get in your knickers.” “For young women, that’s important it’s a scary world out there dealing with blokes, we’ve seen that from ‘Me Too’ that so many young women have spent half their life being objectified. “He was all the things a young woman wanted - charming, funny and attentive - but not threatening precisely because, in the end, there was nothing romantic. She says there was always a contradiction that lay at the heart of her relationship. “The coming out process is hard and sometimes people get hurt along the way,” she says. He was trying out being straight so picked the most gorgeous woman, everything he could want, and if that didn’t work then, he thought, well I must not be interested in the whole gender. “One guy told me that, in a way, he used one of his female best friends in college. But some gay men actually encourage it, she says. Most of the time a gay best friend might be oblivious if his female friend has fallen for him. I feel blessed mine was relatively short term.”
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“I know a woman who was in a relationship for 17 years before he came out as gay. I was gutted.”ĭespite the heartache, Ms Davidson says she got off lightly.
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“And then he broke my heart into a million billion pieces. “So I drank to give myself Dutch courage and I said ‘I’m in love with you, do you love me or not, what’s the story?’ “There was an incident when I went on an actual date and he got very jealous, he was confused,” she says Picture: iStock.Įventually things came to a head. Monica is no stranger to Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. The ’80s were tough (for straight women) - Wham, Elton John, for god’s sake.” I thought George was the most divine thing in my entire life and he was everything I wanted in a boy. “We were both like ‘hello cutie pie’, let’s go to the movies and dance, but I had horizontal shenanigans in mind and he, clearly, did not. He was different to other guys, he spoke to me like I was a person.” “I wasn’t sure if he was my boyfriend but I was the happiest I’d ever been. We would stay up all night talking about films and he was flirtatious with me at the movies he would put his arm around me. Ms Davidson has said he would prefer not to name the man. It was when she was at university, in her early 20s, that he walked into a class and before long she was smitten. I’d been going to parties with drag queens when I was six, but it happens - hormones are crazy.” “A gay man wasn’t a shiny unicorn I’d never seen before. “I’d been raised in a family with lots of gay men in it so I should have known better than anyone (not to fall in love with one),” Ms Davidson says. Monica Davidson has directed a documentary, Handbag, on the relationship between gay men and straight women.